When I was a kid we were taught to be really polite. I mean REALLY polite.
We were taught to think of others before ourselves, always. And I subscribe to that. I really do. I am ALL about helping others. And most of my clients are the same.
Except there's a catch....
If you don't get what you want, you can't help as many people.
And in ALWAYS putting others first... you get pretty good at making excuses to not do what you truly believe you are meant to do. And you miss out on having the FUN, money and love that you need, if you don't balance the giving with the receiving.
Being a martyr...It's the ultimate SABOTAGE strategy.
It happens all the time to high performers, leaders.... "I'm already doing so much. Working so hard. I've already achieved a lot. I don't have enough time. I already have too much responsibility. I need my work life to improve before I can start that business. I have tried before and it didn't work"... and my favourite....
"When I get more money"
I so get it... I've done all of the above. And it all matters....time, money, support, opportunity.
But one day, when I was exhausted and frustrated - a wise person said to me. "Louise....Just because you see a need, it doesn't mean you are meant to fix it. "
I realised in that moment that there were certain people that I was meant to help, but that in allowing myself to 'fix' every person within throwing distance - I wasn't following my own path, pursuing what I really wanted, because I was doing what I was comfortable doing, and spending far too much time doing STUFF that was not moving me towards my true desires.
I wasn't stepping up to who I wanted to truly be, and not giving myself EVERYTHING that I really wanted - deeply, for my family, for my dreams.
In helping so many people, I forgot to help the one person that mattered most... ME!
I've noticed something... There are a lot of people who are successful, and some of them are amazing, and others really don't have much depth.
But the one thing they had in common....the people who were out there doing what I wanted to do - are not apologising for who they are!
That 'be nice' mentality was really that little person inside who was saying "I am scared. Maybe I am not worthy of all that money, success. Maybe people will attack or criticise me.
Why do we do that? Why do we run to the aid of others, and not give to ourselves what we need?
Do you do this?
Beat yourself up? Even though you've already achieved a lot?
Not go after that financial goal
Waste time changing your mind
Hold back from doing what you want
Stop yourself from speaking online because you want it all to be perfect?
Self eliminate from your dreams and plans because of fear
Look at what others are doing and feel frustrated that you aren't doing the same
Your soul will stay in torment until the day you stop waiting for everything to be perfect.
When I run personal development programs... the one common theme that 98% of people say to me when we dig down deep ..even for those 'successful' people - is a sense that they are not worthy enough of having more.
But we are human. We aren't perfect. You're not and I'm certainly not. (Don't tell my husband I said that).
Who said we should do it all perfectly?
Is 'freedom' the price of being 'perfect?
Yes... we are fearful of loss.. and the unknown is scary.
But our sense of 'worthiness' and identity is something we all need to work on. If our sense of self is based on our past mistakes, hurts or failures, we spend our lives not living up to our true potential.
We waste this precious life internally battling with our dreams, afraid to go after them.
Most people want you to apologise for going after it all... they stay in a place of fear.. because that big life is way too scary for them...
But you're not that person. You're the person who does want the freedom to live unapologetically. To give on a large scale. To be rewarded for your energy, time and gifts.
Here's a way to 'rewire' the way you think and feel when you are holding yourself back:
From now on.. I will ask myself..
If I was worthy of having everything I wanted... what would I do?
I apologise to myself for not giving myself what I want..
I agree to now spend my time in worthy pursuit of my own goals, knowing that as I give to myself... I will always give to others.... These goals are....
From today.... I am making a decision to commit to the following 3 things that will help me achieve my most important personal goal...
Every week I will take this one step to give back to myself, and stop ignoring my own dreams.
I am not sorry for wanting more
I'm clever enough to find a way to get it
I am not sorry for pursuing what I want
I am not sorry for who I am and who I want to be
PS. Sick of apologising for what you want? Lets get you want you want.. Now..
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