Louise Taylor is a Neuro-Linguistics and Sales Expert - and has been working with high performers for over 25 years - helping them to achieve their personal and financial goals.
Do you sit through painful and ineffective meetings secretly feeling like you are being tortured, and willing that you wont be the one called on that has to put up a fight about some recent decision or project?
Do people steal your lunch and not admit it? Are your Monday morning meetings more like Monday morning eliminations.. wondering who is about to be voted "off the island"?
Are you unsure why some people seem to get away with doing the minimum but are still loved by the boss? Do you get annoyed with nitpicking, process driven people?
Here are a few reasons why people have conflict at work...
People have different ways of solving problems. Some people prefer big picture brainstorming, while others like to go step by step, which means that the speed and execution of a project or communication can frustrate
Logic can be misread as rudeness, and creativity can be misread as 'fluffy'
People use different roadmaps in their brain to make decisions and communicate, so the pathway to the decision looks different for everyone
Some people are always in the fact/logic zone and find it hard to empathise while others struggle to be logical
There is not enough down time to connect, have fun or think clearly
Some easy and inexpensive tips to help with conflict:
Understand yourself better – are you an emotional thinker? A brainstormer? Do you like facts? Are you the organiser?
Disassociate - you're being too emotional! If you are highly emotional, step back from the emotion and notice how others communicate. For example – Financial/factual thinkers use less words, emotional thinkers prefer stories. Ask a logical person how they see the situation. It will feel foreign but might surprise you. Visa versa - if you are very factual try and understand the underlying people factors. Utilise the strengths of one of your team who has strong people skills. They will help you to see blind spots in the way you are leading or sharing.
Be flexible in changing the way you deliver information because you can’t win an argument unless you have rapport! (good one for managing teenagers!)
Notice how you problem solve – do you like to brainstorm? Or do you like to get to outcomes quickly? Do you want all the facts?
Ask people how they like to learn before you try and influence or manage - that way you'll know the best way for them to receive the information.
Ask your team what they don’t enjoy and how you can help them to manage those tasks.
Use open ended questions about the issue to get others to open up.
At the end of the day...if everyone is fighting to survive, the 'under pressure' thinking will kick in and they wont perform at their best as the brain doesn't work as well when under pressure.
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